Insanity!

So many people I know are always trying to figure out how they’re going to integrate some fun into their lives.
We spend enormous amounts of time and effort trying to figure out how to relax, while spending equal amounts of time trying to accomplish more in less time. The dichotomy is insane! What very few books in the self-help area ever address is fun. They don’t let you in on the secret that you can have fun in the day to day if you realize that it isn’t something you seek, but something you are. “Become the fun you’re seeking” and you won’t have to wait to have fun. Stress is diminished in its presence, which is what most people don’t understand.

Essentially, fun is the art of playfulness and the ability to resonate with whatever you’re doing in the best possible way. At some point, we became a nation of workaholics. If all you ever think about is going from one task to another without interruption, you’ve become a robot. Instead, try to do as much as you can with an attitude that’s full of gratitude and joy.

Yes, this may sound naïve, but trust me when I tell you that more things will go right than wrong. I’ve tried this technique when I’m traveling, and amazing things have happened. Consider how often overworked employees in airports have to put up with disgruntled travelers. I start having fun with the gate agents. When they ask me how many bags I’m checking, I often respond, “Two, including me.” I get huge guffaws, and sometimes I even get moved into first class! Our interaction has become more humane, and they’re pleased that I’m interested in making our time together fun.

There are so many ways you can make your day more pleasant. In addition, if you’re already enjoying yourself, you’ll be less likely to try to medicate yourself with food, or alcohol. Here are some tips to help you experience more joy during everyday tasks.
*Get some karaoke music and sing in your car while you’re stuck in traffic.
* Talk to people standing next to you instead of using you’re cell phone when you’re waiting in line.
* Let everyone you come in contact with know that you’re interested in them by actively listening. When you act dismissive, it shows how uncomfortable you are with yourself.
*Do all your chores in as playful a way as possible. Try to squelch the old inner tapes that tell you “you can’t have fun until the work is done!” Please..you’ll be dead.
*Wake up and be grateful that you have been given another day to be on this planet.
*Enjoy the ride when you’re driving. You’ll eventually get to where you’re going.
*Make your job as enjoyable as possible. You signed up——no one shipped you off to do forced labor. If you are miserable with your circumstances, attempt to create something you’ll really enjoy.

I realize that there are a lot of situations that create anxiety, fear and sadness, but when life is not handing us lemons we should try to opt for not suffering in advance. Don’t make every day seem like a funeral procession. We are not here for a long time, but hopefully we are here for a good time.

How Crazy We Make Ourselves?!

Most of us have no clue how crazy we make ourselves, especially when it comes to relationships, weight loss, work issues, and our health.

Over the years, I’ve heard excuses that range from the sublime to the ridiculous. Nothing can change if we don’t first change the way we think about things. If you believe that you’ll never be happy or successful, then no matter what you do, you won’t ever feel happy or successful. This is because you focus all your energy on being right and finding people who support your beliefs. If you believe that certain people or events create your difficulties, then you’ll spend your time trying to change them instead of yourself, which is a pointless exercise.

The thing that needs to change is the way you see your obstacles. We all have thought traps, and identifying them is not easy. I have found some real epiphanies in the book “What Happy People Know” by Dr. Dan Baker. Dr. Baker is a psychologist who has been counseling for years. He realized later in his practice that most people wanted to keep telling the same stories as to why they felt miserable, unfulfilled or unappreciated. He decided it was time to confront his patients in a way that led them to discover how they sabotaged themselves.”

What most of us do is fall into four categories” he says. We are either victims, entitled, looking to be rescued, or seeking to blame someone or something for our woes.

The victim often portrays him or herself as always being taken advantage of. “No one cares”, it’s always me, are part of their usual dialogue.

Those who are entitled feel they deserve to have more, not have to wait for anything, or be acknowledged for just about anything they do.

The “rescue seekers are fixated at thinking someone is going to handle their problems, help them direct their life, or give them the answers to the challenges they might face.

Accountability is not a word they are familiar with. I was very invested in this “thought trap” until I finally realized that “no one was coming” and that I was in charge of my own life. Frightening at first, but incredibly freeing in the long run.

The blame game is something we’ve all heard about and I would almost guarantee that a great majority of us have used it to try to get off the hook for a variety of issues. It’s an easy one to get trapped by. After all why not use it to counter failing at a variety of things, like living with an abusive partner, gaining weight or staying in a job that is filled with stress and disrespect?

It allows us to forget that we are the captain of our own ship and that we have choices on how we perceive situations or individuals around us. We create our own feelings through the thoughts we have. Not an easy concept to engage in since many of us have been doing the same bit for a very long time and it essentially becomes automatic like an actor who has been in the same play for many years.

Change takes work and courage, but the exciting news is that you close the curtain on your performance, get new dialogue and voila, you have a new show that might just get you a standing ovation!