Blessed with Abbondanza! (meaning Abundance)

It’s easy to suck the living hell out of the day-to-day by the descriptions you use to discuss—or even to just think about—people, places, events, and yourself. Or you can live as if your cup were half full.

How cognizant you are of what you say is directly correlated to the outcome you’ll get. If you continually speak of your life in terms that describe it as if you never feel good, things never turn out right, or nothing positive comes your way, you’ll more than likely end up being right. It takes less energy to feel good than it does to feel bad. In fact, I’d go so far to say that it takes courage to be happy.

My great-grandmother Conchetta suffered many indignities and tragedies throughout her life, yet not a day went by without her announcing that she felt blessed with abbondanza, “ abundance”. You can choose to take all of your experiences and channel them into a reality show based on fear and anxiety, or you can think of all difficulties as opportunities for creating something new.

Negativity is like a big black hole with slippery sides. Once you fall in, it takes a lot of effort to crawl back up. There are also many people who like the security of the darkness, so if you’re down there you’ll have lots of company. However, when you decide to come back into the light, they won’t help because they’re stuck in the quagmire of goo at the bottom, and they want you there with them, too. When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging! It takes a lot of vigilance to be the guardian of your thoughts, words, and deeds; and you’re often at the mercy of years of conditioning that make you operate as if you’re on autopilot.

When you use language such as “if only,” “I wish,” or “I can’t,” you’re dismissing the possibility of today in order to maintain the familiarity of the past or to assuage a fear of the future. You may think it’s easier to stay in an unhappy relationship or job or maintain habits that don’t serve you, but ultimately you’ll suffer the consequences. Steve Job, the founder of Apple, has said that every day, he asks himself the same question “ if this was my last day on earth how would I live it”? Try asking yourself the same question someday, it might end up being a huge wake up call!

Give me some of that old-fashioned Nona mentality back…I may just live longer!

I have often talked and written about my Italian grandmother Francesca. She was so much a part of my childhood and was the quintessential Nona; flowered house dress, sensible black oxford shoes, and her hair done up in a bun at the back of her head. She always smelled clean and her ways of expressing herself had a calmness that seemed to permeate the atmosphere.

She kept her weight down by eating moderately and by taking a brief stroll every day around the neighborhood. She wore no makeup and rarely spent a lot of time worrying about what she looked like. She existed primarily for her family, making delicious meals and spending time praying for individuals who needed spiritual help. I’m sure there are still a percentage of these types of grandmothers somewhere here in America and abroad, but they are fast becoming a part of the past.

Today’s Nona’s are much more hip looking and involved in all kinds of activities. Many of them also work full-time. I know because I’m one of those working grandmas. I often wonder if my grandmother was better off even though she had to deal with fewer modern conveniences and communicating with family and friends was either an old-fashioned telephone or a letter? I know that she never discussed how stressed she was. Life was pretty simple aside from occasional bouts with dysfunctional family members, which in retrospect I believe brought drama to her life and made her feel perky. She didn’t have to wake up and worry whether her highlights or her haircut was going to work. Hair products were a non issue. A bar of brown soap was used for everything including washing her hair. Olive oil was the conditioner as well as a salad dressing.

No push up bras or thongs. I’m sure she would have laughed at the thought of pushing up her breasts. I can just see her face looking at a thong and exclaiming ”What happened to the rest of the underpants.?” She had no need to buy sexy nightgowns to entice my grandfather. I think her night wear was probably woven with steel thread  so that removing it would be a major feat. In fact I would bet she had very little information about sex and perhaps was under the illusion that her children were miracles, since she would have had to shield herself from sinful thoughts. I loved the fact that I never heard her talk about dieting. She seemed to have an innate understanding of what well-being meant and knew that being over-weight was not where it was at. Perhaps our relentless need to do more and  be more should be tempered by a little bit of old-fashioned Nona mentality. We just might live longer.