Sex is part of a LARGER picture.

I have often wondered why America seems so at odds with its’ sexuality and aging. Europeans have always seemed to be more relaxed about nudity and sex even as they age.

When I was visiting the French Riviera as a young woman, I was in awe of the women walking topless along the boardwalk, many of whom not very young. They did not appear to have any concerns about not having youthful bodies. They even dare to put older women and men being romantic and sexy in their movies. We rarely do that and if we do it’s viewed as an anomaly.

When I saw “It’s Complicated” I loved the fact that they had finally made a movie that allowed the actors to look their age and still be sexy and seductive. We, on the other hand are always showcasing youth in almost every aspect of the media. Reality shows are rife with women and men that look like they’ve been botoxed from head to toe. Nothing moves.

Any advertisements I’ve seen for erectile dysfunction always has youthful looking partners. Where are the sixty, seventy, and eighty and ninety year olds? I guess their considered dead in that department. The irony is that research shows that older people actually have more sex than their younger counterparts. Probably because they have more time, or maybe they realize that it’s more important than returning e-mails, texting or talking on their blackberry’s. Years ago Time magazine had a couple sitting on a bed with a headline over it “DINK” (duel income no sex).

Oprah got on the bandwagon and had a show with a few young couples that complained they had no time for each other, because of jobs, children and other obligations. The Psychologist who was there to give advice told them they needed to put a date to “get it on” in their organizers. I found this to be so hilarious that it had me giggling for days. Now the overwhelmed couple could look forward to another “job” on Friday night. Maybe as we get older we recognize that sex is part of a larger picture. That it begins with how we treat each other through words, actions and deeds.

Tenderness, kindness, thoughtfulness, respect and compassion are part of feeling connected and wanting more. Great abs, a tight butt, and abundant cleavage without the aforementioned may be exciting for a while. But it gets old and so do we.

We are a piece of the universe and not the center of it!

I was in the Chicago airport waiting to board a flight to Vancouver, Canada, when the gate agent announced that the flight was going to be delayed. She then asked the passengers to line up and re-book their flights. There was a lot
of sighing and distressed looks but for the most part everyone maintained a certain degree of calm.
However, one gentleman ( and I say that loosely), kept trying to weasel his way to the front of the line.
Finally he was able to get the gate agents attention and began to assault her with demands as to his absolute need to get to Vancouver as he had extremely urgent business.

She kept her cool and kept repeating that there were a lot of people ahead of him and he would have to wait his turn.
It was then that he decided to use the phrase that has become the mantra of the 21st century culture of entitlement.
“Do you know who I am” he snarled. She had a sardonic grin on her face as she picked up her microphone and said, “Attention, attention,does anyone in this room know who this man is”? He seems to have lost his identity”.
There was suddenly an outburst of guffaws from those in line. The man, now red-faced and looking like he had been constipated for months responded, “Well, we’ll see about that! I want to speak to your supervisor, where is he”? The agent, once again with a huge smirk on her face said ” He’s at the end of the line waiting for me to get him a new flight”.

This type of behavior has grown exponentially over the years as more and more of our society feels their “special” or entitled. They have in essence lost their identity and their humanity. When we begin to believe that we are the center of the universe instead of a piece of the universe, we lose sight of the fact that we are part of a global community that needs to exhibit patience, kindness, compassion and a lightness of being.
The holidays seem to increase the stress that is already so much a part of our society. Perhaps this season, more than ever give the gift of patience, a gift that could influence peace and good will towards all mankind.