In the last several years there has been a plethora of information discussing the differences in how men and women differ. The field of neuroscience has corroborated what most of us already know intuitively. I have had several relationships and can testify to the fact that there are major gender differences. I’m sure when men and women hang out in their separate groups they often point out behaviors that have become the foundation for a lot of sitcoms. When I was younger and uniformed about how differently we see the world, I would often find myself getting crazed and humorless. I can’t say I’m completely cured, but I do find myself laughing more often at both genders behaviors. Here’s some examples of situations I have learned to laugh at. A man will open the refrigerator door and swear up and down that he can’t find whatever he’s looking for, but he has no trouble finding his favorite sports show on the tube. Women will discuss a topic over and over and add every subtle nuance as if they were trying to create an academy award winning film. Men simply look bewildered and wonder “why can’t she simply get to the point”? We will get in the car and immediately think of where we might stop to wander around some shops, or make sure we know where the nearest restroom is. Men seem to resemble camels when it comes to their bathroom habits, until they get older. Our goal is to gather information, no matter where we are so we can share it with our women friends and bring home some little treasure to remind us of our journey. Our partners can never figure out why we need what we’ve purchased, because their sojourns to stores comes from a more practical place. If they go to a hardware store for a hammer they don’t call their friends to go with them so they can try it out before they buy it, or come back with more than they set out to buy. They also don’t get overly concerned over making beds, making sure the house is clean when companies coming over, or putting toilet seats down. Of course not every man or female fits into the above categories, but I can bet that a great majority do. What we all need to discover is that what annoys us about each other can become a great way to connect, if we can both admit that we are often a joke.
I just heard about yet another study on the differences in male/female behavior. When are we going to finally understand that we are not the same. It is essentially a big DUH !
Get a group of guys together about last week’s golf game. What will you hear? Unless it’s talk about the weather, more often than not you’ll hear them brag about how well they did: best game I ever played.” “You should have seen me hit right to the green on the seventeenth hole. It was beautiful.” Men like to reinforce their dominant position. Whenever they’re in a position of having won, of beating out a competitor or leading the tribe to victory, they want everyone to know it and admire it. Women, on the other hand, usually feel very uncomfortable in similar situations and more than likely will do the opposite. If they’re talking to other women about themselves it will likely be in a disparaging way. “Oh, I feel so fat today.” Or “ My hair really looks awful today. No matter what products I use, it always looks the same. I just can’t win.” Why? Because women know that talking about their own insecurities will draw other women in and make them instinctively comfortable. Women want to bond with other women, they want to complete the circle and create an aura of mutual nurturing. Men don’t have that need and actually get a kick out of ragging on each other. Their primal programming drives them to strive to put each other down, and helps to amuse the group.
This behavior seems to create closeness and the clarification of where they stand in the pecking order. They rarely try to boast each other’s egos. It is taken for granted that each member of the group feels good about themselves. To show weakness in this area would be to show vulnerability. A trait that is not considered a male strength. On the other hand women love to share their problems and their image issues. It brings us closer together and feeds our caretaking needs. In fact we can go on and on for hours about problems that affect us and others, even individuals that are friends of friends of ours. Men might off handedly mention that someone had a heart attack, but they don’t spend an inordinate amount of time adding small details like what their cholesterol count was prior to the attack, and how they should have eaten better. The bottom line is it can all be pretty amusing, and the more we can laugh with each other about our differences, the better we’ll get along!